Relationships are not easy, what about marriages? They are even worse only if you are in it with someone who is not meant for you. We all know that, so it is a reason I decided to gather my queens. Yes, ladies, we need to talk about this Rule #31.
This might be a little long but we need to talk. I promise you it will bless you or somebody you know.
First, we have to make some connections to make this make sense. Y’all know Proverbs 31? We quote it, claim it and we use it in almost every way except the way the bible intended it.
Here is what I mean, Proverbs 31 wasn’t written to women. Don’t throw your Bible at me, let’s read Proverbs 31:1-5 “The sayings of King Lemuel – an inspired utterance his mother taught him. Listen, my son! Listen, son of my womb! Listen, my son, the answer to my prayers! Do not spend your strength on women, your vigor on those who ruin kings. It is not for kings Lemuel – it is not for kings to drink wine, not for rulers to crave beer, lest they drink and forget what has been decreed, and deprive all the oppressed of their rights”.
Now wait, it gets better. Who does the bible, not me, say is talking in Proverbs 31? The Bible said, “The sayings of King Lemuel”.
Now, hold on to your Bible.. you are holding it? OK
Now, who did King Lemuel say taught him Proverbs 31? He said, “An inspired utterance his mother taught him”. We agree that this isn’t to you but about you, right?
Well; now add this, Who is King Lemuel’s mother?
I am so glad you asked. King Lemuel’s mother is Bathsheba. Shut the front door!
Y’all remember Bathsheba. Now go back and re-read Proverbs 31:1-5, knowing that Bathsheba who was forced to break her covenant by David’s disobedience spoke Proverbs 31 to her son to teach him about a woman’s worth and remind him not to rob a woman of her worth with ignorant behavior like his father did her – David.
What’s my point? Rule #31 is this, a man doesn’t have a covenant with you if he robs you of YOUR value. How is your value robbed? By behavior that disrespects you, dishonors you, and denies the value of God placed on you. “She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her” Proverbs 3:15. If you aren’t the best thing that ever happened to him, he is the last thing you need.
But when does a covenant begin? Again, I am so glad you asked.
Actually, the covenant begins from the moment you agree to deal with him exclusively. You don’t have any business entering into a covenant relationship, an agreement to take yourself off the market with somebody who doesn’t honor you, know your Proverbs 31 value, and is reckless with your love.
Listen to this again, King Lemuel said his mother, Bathsheba taught him the value of a woman. In other words, a man that hasn’t been taught right cannot covenant right with you.
A man that doesn’t have the understanding that the bible said, “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown…” is looking for you to be under his feet instead of over his head.
Who am I talking to…? You know you are with the wrong man when he doesn’t put you above. Forsake all others and openly rocks you like his crown!
Let me say this, and I know it’s a known fact that if you are kept in the closet, if you are a secret, you are not his crown and he is definitely not your king.
But don’t let me forget; a covenant doesn’t start at the altar. A covenant is what gets you to the altar – an agreement. There are three steps, and if you don’t know what steps I’m talking about here, let me be clear here, are i) dating, ii) courtship, and the last step is iii) marriage.
Dating decides that he says all the right things, Courtship verifies that he is qualified to do all the right things he said when you were dating.
Dating no matter how long it lasts, is not a covenant, period. Courtship is when dating turns into destiny and the plan is to marry this person.
A little bit of explanation about the three steps above..
Mmh I can feel that you want me to go extra deeper into that. OK, I got you! Let me explain a little bit more for the ones who didn’t understand what I said above.
Relationships are like the test drive for courtship, in other words, we can call it engagement. And courtship happens when stability is conquered and the test drive is smooth. Courtship is the trial phase to see how much you both are willing to compromise and sacrifice for one another. And marriage is when you fully understand the commitment you are getting yourself into, and you are in it forever with each other.
Yes, that’s all and I’m pretty sure now you got it.
I don’t want to say it but, you have to be careful about a man that will give you his baby but won’t give you his last name. A man who wants to live with you but doesn’t want to plan a life with you.
Now once you enter into courtship you have two choices to make before you say “I DO”. Number #1 did the courtship create an agreement that honors, respect, and places you #1 above all else? Number #2, does the covenant agreement resolve outstanding issues and meet both of your needs – physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Does it have the power to break generational curses, and do you both agree that courtship proved you are ready for a lifetime commitment?
The Bible said, “Can two people walk together without agreeing on the direction?” (Amos 3:3). If you have not agreed on going in the same direction, you don’t have any business going to the altar.
Some of us have made the mistake of thinking, “I DO” will undo what we didn’t do during courtship, and if we are honest with you, we will tell you – it never will. Whatever you agreed to, or didn’t agree to is what you are saying “I DO” to, beloved.
Don’t say “I DO” to something that you don’t agree with, that disagrees with your worth or prevents you from being able to honor him as your king.
Ladies, finally I’m done for today. But, before I sign out of this blog I have this message for you.. You will always meet 1 of 3 types of men. The man who looks at you, the man who looks past you, and the one who looks in you.
The only one who is worth your time is the one who can see in you. The man who looks on you can only see you from the neck down. The man who looks past you is already on to the next. The man who is looking in you is looking for your savior in your behavior.
Got it? Now, make sure you advertise the right assets. I’m having a wonderful day out here, I hope you are too. Until next time, bye for now!