Lifestyle

Ladies talk: Advice to single moms and women in relationships

Ladies talk Advice to single moms and women in relationships

Hey ladies, today I have something for you. Firstly, I bet you are all fine, and if you would like to know about me, you don’t have to worry, I am safe and sound.

The clock is ticking, time passes, and as long as God still blesses us every day with this thing called life, and this ambition to change the world for good, we don’t have any other choice but to stay reminding each other of how to stay on the right side.

Secondly,

No hard feelings. Since I am also a lady, I am going to say it all – what I feel will help you see where you have moved foul and also help you see what you suppose to do, in a bigger picture.

I guess you won’t allow me to sit here and talk to myself, I need you to think, if not to think even extra hard, and do something right.  Because we have this one life to live right. It is a very special gift which we receive once in a lifetime.

Okay, ladies, I will start with this “Teamwork” thing. We all know how life is boring when you have to do everything for yourself. You may find yourself sometimes wishing you get helped out on something. That is life, that is definitely human nature.

We all need someone that will help us out when we feel stuck or in need of something. Referring to what I said, “We all need someone..” unfortunately there is some female who thinks they, female, are the ones worth being helped.

Ladies.

If your mate is helping you in any way that relieves some of the burden, or daily pressure on you, it would be wise to ask yourself how you return the favor. If you are not asking yourself  “How can I help my mate?” all while they are consistently helping relieve your daily burdens, then you have potentially become a job for them and not help.

As partners, you all have to help each other grow and reach the goals you have set in your lives. If your mate is the one giving you attention, time, money, and love, yet you are not trying to give anything to that person back in return, you are not trying to grow with them, you are not either trying to heal with them.

You are not trying to invest or support them, barely show them love. I honestly don’t feel sorry to say this, you are toxic. Yes, you are.

We get it. Life is hard, and relationships are not easy, but in the meantime, this one man is giving you all he has to you, and there is you – the one that doesn’t even try to do anything for them to show that you are grateful to have them in your life and most importantly you love them.

Men get tired too. If you can read a man’s mind, you will be surprised at how many times he cried for help. Do you know what it feels like when you feel drained and broken and see no help? When you needed help and get none? Imagine having someone close to you, or under the same roof with you, and don’t get anything back in return,- their attention, money, or love? Sucks right?

It is known men are providers, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have to be there when they need you. Whether they tell you to step in or not, be there for your mate.

For example; a team that works together as a team always

  1. Reach their dream goals as a team
  2. Forms a strong friendship.
  3. Communicate more. (And we all know this part is very important in every relationship.)
  4. Gets new ideas, cooperates, and breeds out best quality at the end of the tunnel.

These are a few of the many importance of being on the same page with your mate. You save each other from unnecessary stress and enjoy what keeps you together to the fullest.

Okay, speaking of relationships, there is this thing called parenting. Even you young ladies that don’t have a family, there come a time you will have one. I don’t want to say this will happen to you, but it may also happen because we all don’t know what tomorrow will bring.

In case will happen or you are going through this single parenting thing, firstly, I would like to say sorry for that, secondly, you need to heal.

To heal how? 

I am pretty sure, and it is known that nine out of ten single moms live in pain, and they won’t stop saying harsh words to men who left them with kids.

Reasons to let your baby’s daddy step in
Forgiving your son’s father is very necessary for your own healing. Not only does this benefit your personal evolution, but I also believe it is very beneficial for your son.

Like on the real

Everyone fucks up, but everyone has the ability to change and grow. If you know that your son’s father doesn’t pose any threats towards your son, you have no legitimate reason to stand in between the relationship your child will have with his/her father.

Because you don’t need your baby’s daddy but your son definitely needs his/her father. I feel like, if a man is willing and provide for his child, let him.

Children need their fathers too, fathers your children need you.

Ladies talk: Advice to single moms and women in relationships

A sad single mother with a child.

Some women will keep their kids away from their father because she is salty about the relationship with him not going the route she wants it to. More than likely these women are upset that the father doesn’t want a relationship with the mama and has his focus on his kids.

We are not going to act like bitter baby mamas don’t exist. My mama, probably your mama, and more than likely you are this type of mother.

If a man wants his kids, let him have his kids. Especially if he will do right by them. If you care about your kids, you won’t stand in the way of them having a father.

I am telling you this single parenting thing is for the birds. I don’t like raising my child by myself when I don’t have to. I get it, deadbeat daddies definitely exist, but if you know your children’s father ain’t cut like that, sis, let go and give yourself a break.

Fathers, daddies, baby daddies, us mamas need a break. How much longer should your babies wait for you to clear the crumbs off your plate? Mothers, moms, baby mamas, get your break. Let go of that bitterness. If he is willing to step up, let that man father his kids.

The bottom line

If and when you don’t heal from your past relationships, every future relationship inherits the emotional debt that you and somebody else created. Your future cannot pay, owe, or be responsible for a debt you and somebody else created.

Related: Bitter-Sweet: What Lies Beneath the Surface of Love?

If you try to make your future relationship responsible for your history relationship, your future will become a part of your history.

If you have decided not to get back with your baby daddy, don’t block ways for your children to have a relationship with their father. You don’t really save yourself from anything but serves you some stress that doesn’t worth your energy. And what is really bad is you don’t respect your kids and their feelings.

A wise woman will never put their children away from their father’s love. Just because you no longer have feelings for your baby daddy, it doesn’t mean your child/ren feels the same way.

You absolutely have no reason or right to hide the kid/s from their father if you really know he has no harm for them. He is the father. Allow him to play his part.

About the author

Dorice M.

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